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When I tell to some of my friends, that I’m not done having kids, they look at me in surprise.
Two isn’t enough ? And didn’t I just explain how having kids make you loose your independence and carelessness? I’ve written about it here, and in consequence some of my friends became really scared, and decided never to have children ;). However, I did gain a lot as well ! That’s why instead of crying in depression on my bed right now, I’m pretty chilled and satisfied, despite of all the changes that I wrote about. Yes, I get to play with play dough and watch Sesame Street again, but mainly I’m happy as a mom of two, and thinking about third, because of these reasons for having kids:

1. Attachment. While I’ve lost my independence I’ve gained this amazing and strong bond with my children. This mythic love that is stronger then anything you ever witnessed before. Yes, it’s breathtaking; to see your kids do stuff for the first time. To make them laugh. To see them asleep. To cuddle in bed. These are the moments of pure happiness that, as a parent, I get to live every day. And this is really awesome.

2. Community. So while the romantic stage of my relationship is over, I’ve gained a family, and the feeling of belonging to the bigger group of people. Because as much as while being a childless couple in love, it was only about the two of us, when we started raising kids, we realized that it takes a village :). That means that I was creating bonds with more people around me, and I started to value more my community, friends and family than before having kids.

3. Creating traditions. So yes, as you might have read in my text before, I plan more my every day life since I’m a mom, but I can’t expect all my plans to turn out as I wish. It would be annoying and frustrating, to plan and then get things turn out not as you wished for.
But there is a positive to it, which is planning holidays and activities as we want it, and creating our own traditions and habits, even through the unpredictable. Living the life you always wanted as a kid. But better :).

4. The positive body image. I’m amazed by my body capacities ! Before having kids I perceived my body more as a not-perfect thing, that I should shape to please others. Not any more. Since becoming a mom, I’m amazed by what my body can do: it gave me two beautiful and healthy kids, and it can feed them too! Thanks to becoming a mom, I started to truly accept my body and love it as it is, and for what it’s capable of doing. Hurray to that !

5. Caring and being cared for. By becoming responsible I’ve lost the carelessness with which I lived happily for so long, but I’ve gained the notion of care. I care because I love. I care for my family, for my kids, but I’m also being cared for. My little one always makes sure if I also had my snack with her, and if I had my dose of kisses too :). I think it’s a win-win.

And what do you think about these reasons for having kids? What are yours?

14 Comments on 5 reasons to have kids

  1. Sasha
    August 6, 2014 at 2:31 pm (3 years ago)

    I love all these reasons: so true!!

    Reply
    • Joanna
      August 6, 2014 at 2:44 pm (3 years ago)

      Thank you Sasha !

      Reply
    • Joanna
      August 7, 2014 at 8:30 am (3 years ago)

      🙂 I’m happy to hear that !

      Reply
  2. Kayla Hoffman
    August 8, 2014 at 10:01 pm (3 years ago)

    I feel the same. There are so many things that I have lost, but it’s entirely worth it to have gained all of these things you mention. Another thing for me is to gain bravery, selflessness, and appreciation. I have to be brave for Quinn in ways that I never thought I could be before having her. I have learned how giving I can really be. Especially during nights when all I want to do is sleep, but she comes first. I have gained a new appreciation for every single day. I appreciated my days on Earth before, but NOW? Woah. I am so blessed to have another day with her and to experience such beauty through her.

    Reply
    • Joanna
      August 9, 2014 at 10:43 pm (3 years ago)

      You have really put it down beautifully: breviary, selflessness and appreciation! I feel like we become the best of us because of our kids!

      Reply
  3. Stefanie Foote
    August 26, 2014 at 9:27 pm (3 years ago)

    My kids bring a sense of calm to me each day in my otherwise stressful life, and while they can at times be the CAUSE of the stress (ha), I still wouldn’t trade that either.

    Reply
    • Joanna
      August 26, 2014 at 9:29 pm (3 years ago)

      I totally agree with you Stefanie ! For me they are the meaning to my life, so sometimes they calm me, sometimes they stress me 😉 but I wouldn’t trade it never 🙂

      Reply
  4. Sharon
    September 30, 2014 at 6:43 pm (3 years ago)

    “While the romantic stage of my relationship is over…” This is your choice, not a consequence of having children. It is entirely your choice whether or not to continue to have romance in your marriage, or to use children as an excuse to neglect it.

    Reply
  5. Marie
    June 13, 2015 at 12:16 pm (2 years ago)

    Your points are so very true and well said, but I don’t think they only apply to having children. Those who choose not to have kids or not to expand their family can experience all of these things in different but equally profound ways. I don’t like the title “reasons to have kids” as much as reasons why you chose to have kids. Titles like this make it seem like if you choose not to have children you are less of a person and yet you can still have a family even if it’s just you and your partner. And…I will add here…I am a mother.

    Reply
    • Joanna
      June 13, 2015 at 3:13 pm (2 years ago)

      It was never my intention to exclude anyone, and I’m sorry if you feel like I did. I just think that when writing about characteristics of group A ( with kids) I write only about them, and not about group B ( without kids), or group C ( who had kids but there grown up ) or group D ( who is happy without kids and don’t want to have any).

      For sure we can attend all of these without kids! My inspiration for this article was a conversation with my childless friend who was scared of having kids, and worried that they’ll ruin her body, social life and identity. So I wanted to show her that there are positives! Thank you for your comment though, I’ll rethink my titles in the future!

      Reply
  6. MamaSue
    December 27, 2015 at 10:30 pm (2 years ago)

    After being involved in politics and community service for years as a single, I now realize that the most influential thing I can do to change the world, make a difference and impact the future is to have kids and raise them to fear the LORD.

    Reply
  7. Brittany
    February 12, 2016 at 6:00 pm (1 year ago)

    Thanks for these. My husband and I are still figuring out if we want kids or not. I see tons of articles on the reasons not to have kids but very few positive reasons that actually have substance. For me “just wanting them”, being lonely, looking for children to provide meaning, or because I might need someone to care for me when I’m old are not good enough reasons to take on the responsibility and commitment that children bring. When I have mentioned we are considering the decision people tell me I’ll be selfish if I don’t have kids, which I don’t understand, and when I ask them why they choose or chose to have kids they usually start their reasoning with ” I want/ed…” Which seems hypocritical. Once again, thanks for providing some substantial positive reasons!

    Reply
    • Joanna
      February 17, 2016 at 4:13 pm (1 year ago)

      I’m happy you found it helpful! It is a huge and life changing decision, but for me it was one of the best one I made.

      Reply

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